Ideas for Teenagers

The ideas listed below are meant as ‘primers’ for teenagers. You will, no doubt, need to tailor some of the potential actions for the unique nature of the children you love, and for your particular relationship. You can find more ideas for teenagers, as well as for other ages and stages, in the ‘Ideas For All Ages’ section of Commitment Three and throughout the other Four Commitments.

Ideas For Action

Generally, aim for open conversations: ask questions, listen, be patient and give time for answers (which might only come three calls down the line. Being there is what matters, not the ‘perfect’ conversation). Be prepared for limited ‘deep’ interactions.
Look for opportunities to engage in ‘sidetalk’ (a technique to broach topics that might, otherwise, be difficult to discuss more directly). For example, virtual arts and crafts, virtual cooking (as below) or during homework games (also below).
Talk about stress management: recommend as many techniques as you can, for example: keeping a diary/journal; writing stories; meditation; yoga; deep breathing; creating artwork; sports and exercise; listening to music; and talking with friends and other family members. You could also suggest practicing some of the techniques together, while sharing how you deal with stress, and examples of what is currently stressing you out (in an age appropriate way – and without scaring the kids you love if you are on a military or other form of deployment).
Send an email: An email can enable a more descriptive, reflective and rich exchange, as opposed to a text chat, or a phone call. Try building a new depth in your relationship, with this often overlooked form of communication. Not every interaction has to be – or is best to be – real-time.
Try inviting them to connect on their preferred social media: look into Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter and YouTube.
Establish a ‘book club’ and hold regular book reviews: read the same book while you’re away and then hold a special one-on-one book review, via video, or on the phone, as part of your very own ‘bookclub’. You could also extend the review through texts, with fun questions to test comprehension of the story. Promise a visit to the book store, and a nearby cafe, upon your return, for a special one-on-one meeting of your exclusive bookclub – and for you to buy the teenager you love some additional books as a reward.
Get the teenager you love to read something to you: this is a great way to help with homework and to share a story, which you can later discuss. Its also a lovely way to talk about values, beliefs, right and wrong, and life strategies for dealing with conflict and difficult situations.
Take turns reading to one another: Pick a good novel, buy the teenager you love a copy, and take turns reading to one another: either day by day, or chapter by chapter. This might well become a wonderful tradition, which will accompany you both into your twilight years.
Hold ‘homework games’: make a game for any subject the children you love are currently learning at school. Think up some fun questions, promise a prize (nothing extravagant – a book or 50c per game) and either hold a special game night, or make it into a game that spans a week, with one question per day, via text. You can also suggest some fun apps, which you could both download to your respective devices and play together.
Try some two player, non-violent, games over the internet, such as those offered by PlayStation4. Buy this item on Amazon. Enough of all that reading, its now time for some cyber-activity! Try a racing, sports and/or an adventure game.
Try virtual cooking together: teach the teenager you love, how to cook something you love. Bring the two together! ‘Cook’ can simply mean ‘prepare’, such as in how to prepare your favourite sandwich, snack or treat. Buy this sugar free snack and treats cookbook on Amazon.