- Remaining available virtually means helping the children you love know that they can reach you, for anything, at any – or specifically designated – times. Remaining available emotionally means that you do your utmost to foster, maintain and strengthen healthy emotional connections between you and the children you love (learn more about the concept of emotional availability here, which is largely based on attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby in the 1950s).
- While the act of having fun is pretty self explanatory, and while ConnectedApart provides lots of ideas for fun activities, one point in particular is worth stressing: in having fun, remember to laugh – from snickers, to giggles, to side-splitting teary-eyed hysterics. Studies have shown that laughter can drive away anxiety, anger and depression by stimulating the flow of happy-making endorphins and by reducing the levels of cortisol, one of the chemicals released by your body when you’re under stress. As they say, laughter really is the best medicine – including for being apart.
Two other quick suggestions to remember:
- When it comes to commitment three, and remaining available and having fun, simplicity, dependability and routine are more important than large, unwieldy action plans, which leave you exhausted.
- Additionally, as they say in the military, “no plan survives first contact”: no matter how much you expect your day-to-day connections to go a certain way, they often don’t. You might be planning a 30 minute video chat, and – after multiple test runs – the connection doesn’t work; your dinner phone call might not be possible, given that the kid/s you love are exhausted – and someone just dropped their plate of pasta salad (on their brother); your virtual bookclub with your 15 year old isn’t possible, given that a certain teenager is having a crisis with what to wear tomorrow. While good planning is always important, try to stay flexible in how you chose to connect, and be prepared to roll with the punches and to adapt to realities ‘on the ground’.
Finally, as it is for all five commitments in the APART model, whatever you choose to do in Commitment Three will of course depend, among other things, on your relationship with the children you love, their age/s and the length of your time apart. So, pick some ideas from ConnectedApart’s free products and services and from ‘Commitment Three‘ to suit your own experience of being apart and stay connected with the children you love in your own special way. But remember, ConnectedApart is provided as a compliment to your imagination, not as a replacement! So, dream big, and come up with your own ideas for staying connected with the children you love (and please share them with the ConnectedApart community). Beautiful connections will follow.
Over the coming two months, ConnectedApart will be sharing more specific ideas from Commitment Three. So stay tuned – and stay connected!
Stay connected with the children you love when you’re apart by bookmarking ConnectedApart.com, by joining the ConnectedApart Community on Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest and Twitter (and sharing your ideas!) and by signing up for ConnectedApart’s free idea-letter, delivered once-monthly, directly to your inbox.
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